Insults

Insults


Racial Slurs



https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_gsKoBU4eWzVTR0Q3d5Zm5wRDg/view


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Vicious Mockery Insults

https://www.reddit.com/r/dndnext/comments/6edqib/vicious_mockery_insultsnsfw_and_inspirational/


Kid-Friendly Insults


- You fight like a dairy farmer.

- You fight with all the skill of a trained ape, without the training.

- You eat any good books lately?

- The only foe you've dropped is my expectations.

- You must have worked hard to be this incompetent.

- I'd call you a complete moron but I think you're missing a few screws.

- You need a breath freshener. Try Alchemist's fire.

- Nono. The goal is to HIT the target.

- You have so many weapons, yet so little skill.

- I've seen fungi with more charm.

- You fight with the grace of a cow.

- Your swordsmanship is truly without equal.

- If I could save a child's life by sparing you I'd have to think about it.

- I wish we were better strangers.

- You aren't pretty enough to be this stupid. 

- You look like you lost a fight with a rake.

- I'd say you're dumb as a rock, but rocks offer better conversation.

- Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

- Well you found your life's purpose: A warning to others. 

- Believe in yourself, because no one else does. 

- If nothing else you're consistent.


Inappropriate Insults


- Your face looks like a lizard buttflap.

- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma?

- You couldn't hit the broad side of your mother's ass.

- With a face like that, you'd make a lovely corpse.

- You've got a face not even a mother could love. 

- I'm going to kill you out of mercy.

- Go deepthroat a cactus.

- What do you brush your teeth with a hammer?

- I can see your training paid off. You've gone from a worthless sack of crap to a two-bit sack of crap.

- You're not half the man your mother is. 

- You're not half the woman your father is. 

- How about you play a nice game of hide and go fuck yourself.

- I'd shoot you but I wouldn't wish that on any arrow.

- You're why parents beat their children.

- You look like your face was on fire and someone tried to put it out with an ice pick.

- You remind me of Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let your everyone else down.

- We all make mistakes. I'm sure your parents are good people.

- You're not the worst swordsman/archer/sorcerer in the world, but you'd better hope s/he doesn't die.

- Your parents should've known better.

- You make an excellent target. It must run in the family.

- You take after your mother. I ran her through as well.

- Anyone who ever loved you was wrong.

- If you were any more inbred you'd be a sandwich.

- I hope your death as as pleasant as you are.

- So does failure run in your family?

- So what flew faster? Your arrows, or your family leaving you?

- You should appreciate my arrows. They're the only thing that wants to be around you.

- Your mouth looks like a grick's asshole.

- My bolts avoid you just like everyone else in your life.

- Well, at least you have your looks.

- Ah yes, that fabled [monster name]  wit I've heard so much about.

- You've inspired so many people to violence.

- If you were on fire I wouldn't piss on you to put it out.

- You're about as useful as nipples on a breastplate.

- When you were young your home tried to run away from you.

- Aw, did someone leave your cage open? 

- When you played hide and seek as a kid no one looked for you.

- Two wrongs don't make a right. Ask your parents.

- I wouldn't wish you on my worst enemy.

- Your face looks like a baboons scrotum.

- Hey, even gods make mistakes.

- I don't want to hurt you. I just want you not to be alive anymore.

- You must've been born drunk.

- You know, you'd look great in a casket.

- You're like the plague except a plague can kill.

- After seeing your face I'm considering taking up drinking.

- I'd rather have died a hero than lived long enough to see your sorry ass.

- Go bugger a Griffon. 

- You're what happens when God rolls a 1.

- If a princess kisses you will you stop being a bitch?


"Inspirational" Lines


- Violence may not be the answer, but its gotten us this far.

- If Plan A doesn't work, we've got 25 more letters.

- If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

- Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less.

- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

- It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

- We can't die. We're too damn pretty.

- Heroes never die.

- Ruthlessness pays a lot better than integrity.

- Sometimes losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.

- Whenever you fail, just think of all your enemies who failed worse.

- If you want to shine, sometimes you'll get burned.

- Our failures are the foundations on which we build our successes.

- We fall down so we can pick ourselves up again.

- Come what may, I'll be right behind you.

- You're better than you think you are.

- Visualize yourself succeeding and you cannot fail.

- Tough times never last, but Tough people do.

- Your greatest weapon is your determination. Do not be afraid to use it.

- You fight til you drop. We'll be here to catch you.

- Whenever you doubt, just remember how far we've come. We've stood outnumbered and always lived to tell the tale.

- I think it's time for some thrilling heroics.

- If you ever get scared just think how they must feel.

- If they throw us/you to the wolves we'll/you'll come back leading the pack.

- You were given these challenges cause the gods knew you were strong enough

- Every setback just makes our victory that much sweeter.

- The sharpest blade is forged in fire. The brightest diamond born under pressure.

- We have a destiny to meet. We will find victory this day.

- Heroes are like tea leaves. You do not know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.

- Every enemy who stands before you proof you're destined for greatness. 

- What you think is luck is your greatness shining through.

- The harsher the storm, the brighter the rainbow.

- The gods give the hardest battles to the strongest warriors.

- You never know your own strength until strength is your only option. 

- The darkness attacks you because it fears your light. 


---


Generated

https://codepen.io/PDCD1/full/awJOzX/


 "What smells worse than a goblin? Oh yeah, you!"

"Your mother takes up more tiles than a gelatinous cube!"

"Youre going to make an excellent belt!"

"Im glad youre tall...It means theres more of you I can despise!"

"I dont know whether to use charm person or hold monster!"

"Youre the reason baby gnomes cry!"

"Ugh. What the hell is that all over your face? Oh...its just your face!"

"You are the feces that is created when shame eats too much stupidly!"

"Youre like a dragon, only shit!"

"Ive seen more threatening geckos!"

"I swear, if you were any worse at this, youd be doing our job for us!"

"On a scale of 1 - 10, youre proper screwed!"

"Your mother was a kobold and your father smelled of elderberry!"

"You would bore the legs off a village idiot!"

"It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level!"

"Youre not a complete idiot...Some parts are obviously missing!"

"Youre like a trained ape, only, without the training!"

"Hey, have you ever been mistaken for a (insert)"

"Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle!"

"Your mothers so ugly, folk turn to stone just incase they might happen to catch a glimpse of her face!"

"Some day youll meet a doppelganger of yourself and be disappointed!"

"Are you always stupid, or are you making a special effort today!"

"Some day youll go far and I hope you stay there!"

"Youre lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar!"

"Id like to leave you with one thought...but Im not sure you have anywhere to put it!"

"So, youre a half (insert), was your mother a spider or is your ass naturally that huge!"

"Your mommas so ugly, clerics try to turn her!"

"Your magic is as bad as your breath!"

"Oh look, both your weapons are tiny!"

"A wet cat is tougher than you!"

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive!"

"Are you a half orc crossed with a pig? Oh yeah, there are some things a pig wouldnt do!"

"Your Breath would put an otyugh off its breakfast!"

"I could say youre as ugly as an ogre, but that would be an insult to ogres!"

"I would contact your mother about your death, but I dont speak goblin!"

"Your very existence is an insult to all!"

"You look like the armpit of an unshaven bog hag!"

"You are maggot pie served from a dwarfs codpiece!"

"A goblin with one hand nailed to a tree would be more of a threat than you!"

"You look like a scab on a trolls wart!"

"No loot is worth having to look at you!"

"You are the worst example of your class that Ive ever come across!"

"OMG. Why dont you give me your weapon so I can hit myself with it, because thatd be more effective than you trying it!"

"I can tell your reservoir of courage is fed by the tributary running down your leg!"

"Well...I have met sharper loaves of bread!"

"Even evards black tentacles wouldnt touch something as gross as you!"

"Would you like me to remove that curse? Oh my mistake, you were just born that way!"

"Animal friendship was the only way your parents could get puppies to play with you!"

"Your ugly face makes a good argument against raising the dead!"

"When your god put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good asshole!"

"If your brain exploded, it wouldnt even mess up your hair!"

"Somewhere, youre depriving a village of its idiot!"

"Id like to see things from your point of view, but I cant get my head that far up my arse!"

"Could you go get your husband, I dont like fighting ugly women!"

"You call that an attack, Ive seen dead kittens hit harder than that!"

"I heard what happened to your mother, its not everyday your reflection kills you!"

"You look like your mother, and, your mother looks like your father!"

"Youre so stupid, if an illithid tried to eat your brain, it would starve to death!"

"Whats that smell? I thought breath weapons were suppose to come out of your mouth!"

"Did your mother cast a darkness spell to feed you!"

"No wonder youre hiding behind cover, Id hide too with a face like that!"

"Do you have a pen? Well youd better get back to it before the farmer knows you are missing!"

"Quick grab some fire...no wait, its ok, its not an actual troll!"

"If I were you, Id go and get my money back for that remove curse spell!"

"OMG. And I thought troglodytes smelt bad!"

"Were you once hit by a melfs acid arrow or have you always looked like a half eaten marrow!"

"Phew! Have you just cast stinking cloud or do you always smell like that!"

"Very impressive, I think Ill hire you out for childrens parties!"

"Hey, you pox ridden dung heap, I bet not even a starving vampire would go near you!"

"By looking at you, now I know what you get when you scrape out the bottom of the barrel!"

"I was going to cast detect thoughts, but I dont think Im going to find anything up there!"

"I wish I still had that blindness spell, then I wouldnt have to endure that face anymore!"

"I was thinking of casting feeblemind, but I doubt it would work on you!"

"Whats the difference between a troll and your mother? Ones a stinking ugly monster, and the other is a troll!"

"Your mother was so stupid, zombies made her a dunce hat!"

"Youre like a gnome on stilts, real cute, but its not working!"

"They say every rose has its thorn, aint that right, buttercup!"

"Id say you were a worthy opponent, but I once fought a flumph wielding a dandelion!"

"If this fight gets any harder, Ill have to switch it up to folk music!"

"Id draw my rapier, but I wouldnt want to make you jealous!"

"Do you know what happens to a (insert) when it fails its save? Neither do I, but based on what happened to your comrade, my moneys on dies horribly!"

"How does it feel that youre not worthy of anyone casting a decent spell on you!"

"One day Im going to make a ballad of this fight. Tell me your name, I hope it rhymes with horribly slaughtered!"

"Your mother is so fat that making a joke here would detract from the seriousness of her condition!"

"Didnt there used to be like twice as many of you guys? Whats up with that, huh!"

"Whats the difference between a dragon and a mallard with a cold? Ones a sick duck and I forget the punchline, but your mothers a whore!"

"Wait, wait, I just need to ask, what do you need us to put on your headstone!"

"Ive heard of schoolgirls with better fighting skills than you!"

"You do know the pointy end is suppose to go in the other guy, right!"

"Do you know, that if you were at a party surrounded by female zombies, the only thing youd pull is a hamstring!"

" Wait, so youre the manifestation of a divine being of supreme power and malevolence, and you chose that face? Do they even have mirrors on your plane of existence!"



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